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Today is about the sad side of family. I know this girl( Lets call her Betty), she tries very hard to do what is right and like everyone she at times fails miserably… But she is on a direction to change her life and mend all the wrongs she has done, to apologize for the hurtful words she spoke to another, repentance was what she was after.

She said sorry to people that she hadn’t spoken to or even thought of for over 8 years, she said sorry to people who were the ones who had done her wrong, but after making her way through a short list, she came to the last person.. Not just any person.. Her sister! They had a fight, her sister showed absolutely no respect to her parents and that’s one thing betty wouldn’t tolerate; and they ended things saying very harsh things to each other.. Three years go by and not word is exchanged between them, not even a fabric of a thought passes through Betty’s mind of her sister… In fact whatever she said was the truth but regardless a day came where regret sunk into Betty’s heart, fear of the Lord swooped in and reminded her that unless you make peace with your brother, He will not hear you.

So the day came she sat at her computer and started to write.. it wasn’t long yet wasn’t short.. but she pressed send. Several hours later there was her sister’s name in her inbox.. a replied email.. She opened it, it seems fairly kind and forgiving as well as asking for forgiveness. Betty was foolish she took the response as a positive one and decided to write back and spoke freely with her sister, about her thoughts, how she is feeling and how she is trying to change her life and yes she sounded like she was preaching, but she just wanted to tell her sister how her life is blossoming in a godly manner..

Well I know what your thinking.. Sisters! They are probably the best of friends again.. Far be from it.. Betty’s sister wrote her back just as hypocritical as betty remembered her to be.. lies after lies, made up stories and insults that Betty could never even expect… Now Betty has gotten accustomed to the fact that if she wanted to be insulted like a pro, she didn’t need outsiders, she had an entire family willing to do it flawlessly. When Betty wrote that letter, she didn’t want to become friends with her sister again, she just wanted to fix the past… and she rather got shunned, insulted and attacked for it; Betty wrote back her sister saying no defense but not to worry that she would never hear from her again.

Every family has that one family member or many like in betty’s case that causes such turmoil and pain… and somehow you feel responsible… Don’t! If you ever did any wrong apologize, make mends on your behalf and if like betty you receive a slap, just understand its in their nature and feel sorry. People have a hard time letting go.. it is hard to let go, specially of family but you have to place them in God’s hand and step away. They’re a poison that infects not only their own life but everyone else’s and until they have a Damascus experience, you should walk away, even if its family. I know you think “YOU DON’T GIVE UP ON FAMILY” and your right you don’t; but you can’t be with the rest of the family if your upset and fighting with one person who causes discord for the entire family, to really be there for them, you sometimes have to be away from them.

I had an aunt, I saw her as one of those old monkeys.. They see the babies, sitting and eating and the old monkey lays on its back barely able to move but stretches out its greedy arm and takes the food from the baby. My aunt was insecure and did everything for self-adoration, caused division, a true jezebel, she was an upheaval of condemnation, and hurt everyone including her elderly and very ill husband. I loved my uncle, he was Ukrainian, he wasn’t the softest pillow in the bunch but I came to love his matter-of-factness… I remember growing up… When I was very very little all my private school teachers made fun of me.. because I had a massive difficulty with English, I had the hardest time pronouncing vowels, and took me longer to learn how to read than the rest of the kids and with such I was horrible at spelling… So my uncle invited me over for the summer… he didn’t leave me alone..

“Spell Abandon?” .. “But uncle that isn’t on the list”…. At that age I was convinced I was going to marry Enrique Iglesias and his response “Enrique isn’t going to marry a stupid girl.. Now spell ABANDON”

The most grueling summer of my entire life!!! But I couldn’t appreciate it more if I wanted too. From there after I always got As’ well except when it came to punctuation and building complex sentences…

I’m going of track… But recently my unlce died with sorrow in his heart… And my mother and father both taught me, you never ever put your partner nor your parents in a home, you hire a full-time nurse but you never abandon family.

My aunt wouldn’t change her ways, she just ripened into the person she really is..

Sometimes you have to remove family from your life, because they are like a weed that consumes the good that could blossom in your life, and you will know when you remove them if God agrees with you… How? Because now when people ask if I have an aunt.. I say Yes and only one “AUNTI LINDA”  she isn’t blood but I love her more than I could ever ever love any blood aunt.. If I had made a list of all the things I wanted an aunti to be like.. God surprised me with a even better one and her husband Uncle Kozey who has been amazing to me… I have a sister Melissa (Not blood) and we talk about everything.. God blessed me with a wonderful father and then surprised me with Derek (Melissa’s Husband) who has been like a second father figure to me.. And when I walk down the Aisle there will be both my papa and my Derek walking beside me, to give me away.

Family is a choice, just because there is blood that bounds you to relation doesn’t mean you have to relate with someone who isn’t working to build you up as you try to build them up.. If there is a family member, a friend anyone who is causing you upsetment, stress, pain, turmoil, forgive them, bless them and walk away..

The other thing is people expect that when they say sorry.. They are going to receive acceptance and a cheerful response.. No!! Like Penny from “The Big Bang Theory” She apologized for picking on a girl in school and when she was asked don’t you feel good.. her response was “no, you weren’t just called a baabaabaa-itch”

In life we have to apologize for all our wrong deeds, its best to say it directly to the person in which the wrong was done to.. and even if you don’t feel you did anything wrong, you just have to lower your pride and apologize.. turn the cheek and you will see God will bless you.. Don’t mean your walking mat, it just means you control yourself during the situation, you speak factual without ever crossing the line… Pretty much a slap with a white glove, an insult covered in satin… The famous words of all women across the world “ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAID, ITS HOW YOU SAID IT!!”…. but if you happen to cross the line of tact, and do something that could hurt another, be big enough to say sorry and strong enough that you will probably receive reproach instead of forgiveness, be condemn rather than treated with respect.

You there and then have the choice to either keep someone in your life or to remove them permanently.. but it will be a bridge that you crossed amicably at least on your end. Keep people in your life that work as hard as you do to better the relationship not to destroy it.   Family is precious and that’s why you have to savior it and be wise about it. And just remember the words of the lord “They do not know what they do” because if they did they would be soo scared of the consequences they will be facing.