Today, the sun is shining bright, the air refreshing with the burnt scent of the forest that surrounds me.. drinking oddly enough a caramel brulee latte and a mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks, and somehow seeing such a beautiful day, as the sun sparkles through the icicles almost making a rainbow straight to me… I thought I would blog about.. Getting back on our feet, when we have been brought down to our knees.
Life is never easy, no matter how many comforts one may possess, regardless if your absolutely free to do whatever you wish, we are always confronted by something that burdens us. Something that weighs heavy on our heart on even the happiest of days, and is the last thing we think of before we fall asleep. It could be a disappointing relationship or the lack of one, your job or again the lack of one, a decision, verbal attack, the list could go on forever as to what life can throw at us.
As to relationships… I think one of the most painful things to watch is a man being broken, slowly but surely being chipped away from his true essence. I have seen far too many men become the worse versions of themselves based off the selfishness of one careless woman.
In my family, the women of my mother’s side have one very strict rule: “The man is the king of the house and you serve and treat him as such” My grandmother, had 7 maids, 2 cooks, pretty much the amount of hired help was ridiculous, but EVERYDAY when my grandfather returned home, she had his slippers waiting, a glass of his favorite scotch (two fingers worth) just incase he had a rough day, and no matter what, she cooked for him and never the same meal in a month’s time, unless he asked… despite the chefs, the governess that could overlook any meal .
She always gave him a back massage; after dinner, prepared him a bath with fine oils, and had his book waiting for him, in front of the fireplace. She pampered my grandfather like no king had ever been pampered, she was there when my grandfather lost everything twice, and she was there boldly as he earned it all back, encouraging him. My great great great grandmother was a widow by 18, with two children, she never once even looked at another man, she raised the children on her own and lived a life full of love for man she said “I do” too… She died having one love, one date, one marriage all to the same man, she lost when she was 18.
For generations, as far back as my ancestry goes, as of yet there isn’t one woman on my mother’s side that has gotten divorce or relinquished her obligations/ promises of marriage to one man till death do her part. So I hold very high expectations of what a woman has to give, and take very seriously the vows of marriage or any form of commitment. Because trust is above love, because if you trust a man/woman means you respect them and if you respect them, you have no other choice but to love them.
But now-a-days, I see so many of my friends suffer from careless females that swing from branch to branch like a monkey picking for bananas. I know it is said that women have a harder time letting go, in some sense that is realistically true, primarily due to sentiments and idealisms/ idolisms we created around that particular person.. but women are sadly pathologically capable to move on quicker than men…
If we look at the days of cavemen, or the days of settlers… women relied on a man, if her husband died she was forced to quickly find another before harsh winters, they were accustomed to putting aside their emotions in the means of survival. While men were heart-stricken and fended for themselves and their children when the wife passed, it would take them longer to move on, because they didn’t rely on them for survival. In reality a man can find another mate but doesn’t mean his emotions are accepting the actions.
So today’s world, it’s very sad to see men be taken advantage of, while a woman is on the prowl. I hear many of my guy friends complain about their girlfriends, not liking their music, never listening to them when they talk, not interested in what makes them happy. I had this one friend who loved paintball.. The boy sucked at it but he loved it, and one day he and his friends won the game.. How I will never know, but they did.
I surprisingly didn’t hear about the victory from him, but from one of his friend’s Facebook posts. I asked him how it went and he didn’t even really want to talk about it, I asked why not.. He told me how excited he was when he got home, and his girlfriend started barking at him about how irresponsible he was, to take off his shoes, to take a shower because she stunk of sweat and dirt.. She went on bickering.. He said he never even told her, he won the game… I know your thinking melodramatic.
But it’s the tinny things like this that can really ripen a man.. not stupid paintball, but the unity of sharing, letting him feel that his silly joys and happiness means something to you… My grandfather always said “I don’t need friends, because I have the best friend in my wife.. she is the only person I want to talk too.” My grandparents would sit for hours talking, on any subject, and laugh, joke and build their bond through emotional conversational exchange; they held hands until the day she died.
Note to all you women: Correction is only successful when there is already a firm foundation of respect and friendship! And if you meet someone and you already can spot three things you want to change about him, skip him… you can’t change a man and there is another woman who would like those three things.
We are so accustomed men and women to change another based on what would suite our needs, that we never consider how we might be able to compromise.
My mother use to tell me growing up
“Only marry the man, that you could love for the rest of your life even if you could never change a single thing about him.”
As a young girl who truly believed puppies never died, I never took that instruction seriously until I was about 15… I realized the profound truth of what it meant to compromise, it doesn’t mean to alter oneself, it means to accept the differences and enjoy them and if then you wish to make changes for the sake of your partner’s happiness, you then developed a true relationship.
So if your in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling all your needs and doesn’t bring you a gospel joy.. Maybe its time you reconsider. If your not in a relationship, there is a good reason, be patient… love never harkens to the call of demand but to silent maturity of a heart that is prepared to receive its gift.
Work, Money, Decisions…. Everything we do comes down to our willingness to change our weakness and grow into a new being, to grow in faith, and hold fast to our unanswered prayers. We are our strongest when we are on our knees and only then can we truly see where we want to go in life…… and it’s the only place, that only God can whisper into our ear. Every attack, every opportunity; everything that happens to us is a test, a lesson, a chance to be victorious and stronger.
As of late, I have been suffering from some heart issues, its been hard to focus my thoughts, or to write as often as I would like… but you see, when we are confronted with a brick wall, a hindrance, we should thank the Lord… Because when we get pass it, we are immune to another form of life’s attacks. Suffering is an antibiotic, lightening that never strikes twice… We can only suffer for as long as we allow ourselves to suffer.. In most circumstances, I have come to realize, that, we will get struck by the same bolt of furry, if we didn’t learn what we should have, that didn’t change what should have… In Metaphor “If you want to stop the rats from coming into the house, learn to close the door.” Life is the rat and your choices are the door.
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you.”
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”
“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting”
– Napoleon Hill
“You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
– J. Donald Walters
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”
– Philippians 4:13
“ For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.”
– Deuteronomy 20:4
Whatever you’re facing, whatever weighs heavy on your mind, let it go, be thankful for it and reap the reward that comes from every trial. As the saying goes “ Without poop (for better wording) you could never grow a harvest.”
If any of you reading this, is going through a hard time or would like an honest opinion about something, or prayer… I would like to extend out my email…
Feel free to email.. Sometimes all we need is a listening ear. God bless you all and stay strong, because tomorrow is always a brighter day.