Every girl dreams to have that best friend, to have that one guy who understands her perfectly… It’s a fantasy she hushes but never truly lets go of.
Because she rarely finds it.. Why?
Because the value of others… Like everything else in life we assume more is better.. We cling to the social idea that we must have a lot of people in our lives, the more friends we have the more important we are…. But today’s post is about the simplicity and peace one can receive from a true friendship/relationship.
I have always been one to have plenty… IN EVERYTHING… Endless amount of shoes, endless amount of toys, endless and endless amounts of anything and everything my heart delighted in and that even meant a bounty of so-called friends. My address book of just personal contacts was 376 phone numbers, not including people that I only had emails of or BBM info.. My phone was vortex of conversations… In one day I would receive over 62 text messages (before reply), 128 emails, 78 Facebook messages, slightly over 20 BBM Messages and over 30 phone calls… I was certain to wake-up to “Goodmorning beautiful” in more languages than one.. and last year my entire view of life changed… I saw my life road and it was splitting right down the center.. Where I want to go in the quick was possible or the prolonged version that may have not gotten me where I wanted to be. Every second we spend either takes us to our future or keeps us from it… All the people that filled even an hour of my day weren’t going in the same direction as I, and didn’t even share my same opinion of morals.. So I picked, be flattered for a moment with someone who may or may not be in my life in the next moment to come or focus on the few people I love and consider the best time spent and brighten my future. My contact list is now limited to 20 contacts, emails included. And you know people would say, its harsh to cut people out of your life, but in reality a yearlong friendship simply isn’t worth the time. Lawrence Ellison had Steve Jobs.. A man who had everything in multiples knew he only needed one true friend like Jobs and as he said Jobs was irreplaceable to him.
When we surround ourselves with so many people we lose track to treasure the ones that are a blessing in our lives. Making the eradication of my life surprised me, in more ways than one.. Like last night… feeling depressed, I texted the one person that I knew undoubtedly could cheer me up… I found sympathy, empathy, encouragement, advice and comfort.. Knowing that there are limited editions of people.. Ones that are barely found, found their way into your life and it was because you sought them out.. You waited for them, you didn’t fill your amusement with petty chitchat.
I hear people say “Oh I can’t be alone!” .. “I need to hang out with people.. it makes me happy” … “What’s the point of bettering myself if I can’t meet new people”
The thing is you can never truly better yourself when you’re constantly trying to find others to share it with.. True self-betterment comes in finding solace in one’s own solitude, when you are contented with your self you will then find people with equal maturity and understanding of life and therefore you can begin a life long process of life-betterment.. People mature at different rates based on confidence and emotional maturity therefore if they are still needing to fundamentally improve themselves and so are you, you will never reach a climax of optimum maturity that is required to keep straight on the path of life.. you will be walking in circles with repetitive conversations.
Prime example again Lawrence Ellison & Steve Jobs.. two people who reached a point in their life, that they knew what they wanted and who they are/were.. two people with equal life maturity, found a friendship that encouraged each other and build each other up, till death did them part.
As a girl, I have found a place in life.. where I don’t need others, I don’t rely emotionally on their support, I don’t require the company of others to have peace or happiness and with that, when I am in distress or stuck, I have people who swoop in, take my hand and walk with me.. without having to ask. I can be utterly happy because I can trust in a life-long friendship on my life-long journey.
To sum up.. save your time.. stop searching for company, stop counting the number of contacts, don’t anticipate the weekend as a way to meet new people… Savor your time, find out who you want to be, when you do, you will find the people who will hold your hand and never let go.. Every fantasy has a way to come true, you just have to set-up the scenario.