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People say I’m harder on women than I am on men… They would be mistaken.. I am not one who shares the mentality of radical bra-burners but there were women who broke their backs to break the chains of restriction that were once on hands of women.. They fought for an equality that wasn’t about office promotions; they fought for what they truly thought was valuable “Respect” and everything that went along with respect, that provided women the ability to do what they were told they never would!

So my point of view weighs heavier on how a woman should live life.

When little my father always taught me the way of reason ” no one will stand for you, no one will fight a war for you, no one will live life for you… You can never be dependent on anything or anyone to achieve any of your wants, dreams, goals… that is all on you” my mother would then silently tell me.. “But you have to be strong enough and gracious enough that you can do all that for a thousand others.”. My parents agreed but also had a little something to add to each other’s teachings.

My mother having a notorious figure in government as a father and a socialite mother, groomed me to walk even the bumpiest road with high standards and even higher morals and a strength that no one can shake or weaken, to be meek and humble and have a silent powerful war within to even beat the devil himself.

The older I got, the greater my appreciation grew for the luxury it is to be a woman.. To compete in a world of dog-eat-dog, a man’s world and surviving not with just a head above water but as though walking on water, to keep a keen eye of your surroundings and never losing the beauty of true femininity.

Many girls I know tell me “Avra, just get married, you have enough proposals from men who can give you the world.. You would never have to work again and you can keep everything you have for safety and let him take care you and live a life of leisure.. Forget working.. God I would die to be in your shoes”

Just the other day I was talking to one of the reps at a store I shop at continuously and she asked what I did for a living, I gave her the tidbits of info.. she continued to say “oh I would love to do that.. But I cant because I don’t have a man.”

In shock as to what she meant by the ending statement, she went on to say  “well I could never accomplish all that or even take courses until I had a man to pay for it and to encourage me.. As a girl I need a guy to help me build my life. When I catch one then I can do all those things”

I was shocked, I said “Are you serious?? Its life, self-betterment, you seriously cannot tell me your waiting until you, as you say “catch a man” until you better yourself and your life?”

she then said pricelessly “well, that’s too expensive and I want to have fun and a man should provide those thing, I shouldn’t have to do it myself”

I swear to God I wanted to smuck the brunette out of her.  The girl is 24 years old, is working minimum wage, doesn’t know what she wants from life, doesn’t even consider what she wants out of a man, all she knows is , she will not better herself until she has a man who can do it for her.

We have comes years on the backs of hard working, determine women to only progress in a short time period to end up more useless , greedy, selfish, and STUPID than the frighten housewives that we evolved from!

I hear this from so many women..  little gold-diggers who have their boyfriends put them through college, that eat up the funds of their partners because that are incapable to do anything for themselves. I hear women joke “I’m too pretty to work.. My sweetie takes care of me”  


When I was little, my mother use to play Mexican checkers with us.. She was amazing and at the time my eldest was the best out of us three girls.. My mother would always say “If you can beat me you can have one thing, anything you want.”

In Mexican checkers you have bobas “Stupid move” if you have an opportunity to eat one of your opponents pieces but don’t because it may cost you a piece or because you didn’t see it.. you automatically lose that piece plus a turn. My eldest was the one who got the closes to beating my mom. There was one thing I wanted more than anything and she said, she would give it to me if I could beat her in checkers… I asked if my eldest could play for me and she responded “If you want something, you have to win it, YOURSELF”

Done! I played my eldest every single day until I could beat her every single time.. Then my day came to play my mother, I watched every move she made, I watched every move I could make and calculated depending on what move she would make, of what would be my best move before hand.. Compromise my piece in order to get two of her’s.. AND I WON. The thing I wanted lost meaning in comparison of the satisfaction of being the first one to beat my mom. I was 7 and my eldest was 7 years older than myself.

A silly game of checkers taught me more than I could ever learn in years of experience.

My mother went on to teach me the value of self-accomplishment, self-vindication, self-growth, self-discipline and best thing the pride of self-worth. I there and then promised myself that I would never rely on any man, any woman, any person, any other’s abilities, that my life would measure up to my desire and it would solely be based on my hard work, my mistakes, my choices and my decrement.

That when I reached a place, where I have a pleasure to look at every area of my life and be contented, then I will be a peace to accept a man into my life and share what I have built with him… that he doesn’t feel I depend on him but I rather chose to live side by side with him, that he never has to doubt me when I say “I love you” because I already had everything I needed and wanted and the only thing left he could give me .. is himself.

Slowly and surely I am getting my life there.. and its privilege to know that there is no room for moral compromise on the road one takes.

Lawrence Ellison once said “We are born to reason and often reason is beaten out of us” but the key word that struck me was “fashioned” …. Women have fashioned themselves to lose all sense of reason, to be a dime a dozen.

Women are losing the pride they can acquire by just waiting and doing things for themselves and never depending on anyone else except on themselves.

Women use their bodies or good looks today to trap men.. PRETTY WOMAN  was just a movie and yes some very talented manipulators have made it a reality.. but women’s ideals and goals shouldn’t be a Pretty Woman reproduction. We lost class and we lost respect and we lost sense of self.. Men, well men will always be men, they will push and they will try but lets not be like the French, let our no mean no and our yes mean yes.

My friend who is a master at women said in his rather very luring voice

“Women … there are 4 types of women men can have…

1)  An Autobody shop… All I have to do is pull forward and the garage door opens and I pay at the end, well if I am happy with the service. But some autobody shops have even two people or more willing to work on my car.. If you get what I mean.. And One thing I know, I don’t mind them working on the outside of my car or under the hood but I know they are dirty, their hands are dirty, their faces are dirty and I don’t want them in my seat leaving their stench in my car. They are good enough to empty my car but they will never be good enough to be in my car, those women are worth shit!

2)   SAMPLERS: they are like those people who stand outside the pretzel store holding samples, they look pretty and they sell very well. They don’t know if you were already going to go to buy a pretzel or not, but they offer you a sample thinking that’s how they will get you to buy.. You take a sample and you realize the sample was plenty enough. You now have no need to buy,  a free taste was good enough! If you get what I mean.. Those women.. are like begging dogs.

3)   Hotel Stay: before you must have leave a pre-payment for luxury hotels.. They don’t save a room unless you pay something for it first. You have to leave your credit card number at the front desk, nothing will be given to you unless you pay first… If you get what I mean… These type of women think they are smart but they are a joke… no man truly ever plans to live in a hotel no matter how nice it is.. they want a home that is theirs, not a pre-rental room that has been paid for several times before. They can wash the sheets but you know another has rest his head , among other things there already!

4)   Game-changer: There is no good metaphor for this type. Because it’s your type. You make the rules and everyone else must follow by them or they are disqualified. Its like two player tennis… team work for the rest of a man’s life. No tasting, no touching, no pre-serving until the words come out of the preachers mouth “I now pronounce you husband and wife”. The scariest type of woman.. Because no games work, no money can buy them, you won’t change them. This woman changes man, he can’t buy her, he has to earn her! This is type of woman is who relieves if man is real man, because if he real man he won’t mind folding, giving up the game…. he knows there isn’t any better…. but a little man will run from such strong woman because he is happy at his level that is trash! But I say this, men no longer have to worry about four types because 90% of women fall in the first three types.. here’s to easy picking.. if you know what I mean”

Man know what type of woman their dealing with unless they are entirely moronic and blind; but shouldn’t we change the percentage, shouldn’t every woman desire to be a game-changer.. All it takes is, not to say no man but to say no to ourselves.

I was treating an NBA Athlete, and we were joking around.. he would show me some women who talked to him on facebook and laughing he said “I love when women play hard to get, they think I’m stupid, that they fooled me.. they act like they don’t know who I am or play like their not interested.. But I laugh because I go along with it, make them believe they outsmarted  me and really I am playing them with their own game”

I have never really been one to have to many girlfriends because I never seem to find any who share my same sentiments and well it always becomes a competition and I hate the drama.. But I have always gotten along better with guys because rarely there is drama and if you make it clear your not interested they generally don’t persist.. Its logical, easy-going and you don’t have to step on your tiptoes because you may say something in a tone a girl generally may not take well. From this I have heard the deep dark thoughts of men, everything they think about women. They sit in groups laughing at you.. “HAHAH man she bought it and she didn’t say no to anything!!! Well are you going to call her again?…. God no, I got what I wanted… well then maybe I’ll take a swing at her too”

I get included in these conversations.. I hear the guy tell me his master plan plot to get a woman and it works like clock-work .. and the famous Routine, they even got a slogan “I’ll pounce and bounce” 

SO I will end by saying, be more, don’t rely on the support of a man or anyone else, Build yourself up and then worry about relationships because a man doesn’t want a woman that survives off him!