, , , , , , ,


What a wonderful Sunday it is.

The Canadian air in the mountains is fresh blowing loudly, you can almost feel the pressure every time you hear the wind crash up against the walls of the house like a tsunami, a little chill leaking its way to your comfy already Christmas decorative PJs. I sit with my swarm of yummy warm drinks (Cinnamon Dolce Latte, & hot Mexican chocolatte)..

I sit with anticipation as I watch “One Night With The King” a movie about the story of Esther and it reminded me of a picture I had saved on my phone

Kintsukuroi .

A Japanese tradition that involves taking the broken pieces of plates, cups, anything that holds true value sentimentally to an individual; this object would ideally not be worth very much materially. What they do is take gold or silver, melt it and mend the broken pieces making this originally not valuable item and making it more valuable and beautiful after being broken.

We are all broken pates and dishes. Pieces of our souls have chipped away through heartache and pain, rejection and fear, self-loathing and criticism, wrongful living and bad choices. We are but the bolder in the river and the consistent flow of error, choices, daily impact, with time it washes layers and layers of the rock away, leaving nothing but its core and in time, even that can and will be washed away.  But we could be kintsukuroi. We could be more valuable broken than we ever were whole in our prime.

Yes I am Christian and I will mention in this Blog the name of the Lord Most High, and He is the melted gold & silver that will mend us back together again. He has the power to make us whole and to make us beautiful in the sight of others.. that when confronted, another will not see shattered pieces but see a piece of art of a human being that with his past has over-come  and is worth more!

Kintsukuroi became such a treasured tradition, that people today actually take valuable expensive china, break it and perform kinstukuroi to make it even more appealing and valuable. So no one can say “Once broken, its garbage”

Sad truth.

Men are more like kintsukuroi than women. How come? Eve was created from the rib of Adam, in sense we are but made from already broken but made whole pieces. Though we are more emotional, we have the means to mend ourselves, find security in the tiniest of things, that will fix any crack in our mental, emotional, spiritual, physical crack; while men are but left with a missing piece. They are as though with gateway that allows the river to flow and erodes slowly at his very essence.

Now-a-days I have learned specially while counseling married couples…….Woman have forgotten their God given duty. Men have to do everything…. be the wife, be the mother, be the father and be the husband, be the banker, be the supporter, be the emotional shoulder. No wonder men dread getting married!!!

God said we need no other them Him but yet when He made Adam, He knew that man needed God’s hand, support, and in a way he could relate too. So God took from Adam, made a partner/a helper for him that was of him, to live his days with another. God knew that Adam needed a partner to help him grow and live out his days fulfilling his God given tasks.

Today we have microwave dinner marriages that you can throw in garbage and easily grab another in seconds. When you ask a woman why she loves a man her response is saddening   “He’s funny, he makes me happy, he takes care of me, he understands me, he loves me, we fit well with each other and our lifestyles are the same. And I love him”

Its all about what he gives her! What she gets from him! It has absolutely nothing to do with him as a person or what she is able to give to him.

The true beauty in love, is to give. A woman was designed to give rather than to take..  So in essence women are depriving themselves of the most fulfilling satisfaction she can have, all because of selfish intent!

When did love go from lust to lustful comfortableness. Woman pick men that match their lifestyle needs. You never hear a woman say “when I’m away from him I get happy simply because I know I’ll get to kiss him when he gets home.. I love cooking for him because I love to see his face when he likes my cooking or the face he makes when he tries to save my feelings and he really didn’t like it. I love how when I hug him I feel safe, that there is no where else in the world I would rather be than with him.. I would rather a day fighting with him than day laughing with another. I love him because for me there could never be anyone better than him.”

Women describe men as social needs to fulfill their needs with their wallets. Unfortunately the man is the one who ends up paying for the woman’s selfishness, she is one more person who didn’t fulfill that missing pieces but just took another piece of him.

A woman’s job is simple: be the gold that melts into every cravis, making him whole rather than herself. To encourage him to be the best that he can be and remind him of his worth even when he can’t feel it. She is to

  • Cook
  • Clean
  • Nurture
  • Support
  • Organize
  • Bare his children
  • Be his best friend
  • His protector
  • His defender
  • His encourager
  • His correctioner
  • The wall/ ground that he can rest his back to/ stand firm on

And most importantly to make him feel he is truly unconditionally loved.

Any man today who seeks excitement, adrenaline rush activities, boating, flying, paintball, car racing, sky diving, shooting range, lavishing expenditures surprisingly are a testament that they have never truly felt loved or wanted.

I’m SOOO wrong!!!! Your thinking!


True love brings an excitement that’s almost tingles in the deepest places in a person’s being.. They look forward to every passing second.. Anticipation is as fulfilling as participation or even greater. When a man truly feels he is wanted for only him and nothing that he can do or give; it gives him a new and redefined sense of self. He found a hidden rush of adrenaline when a woman looks at him with eyes of adoration. After experiencing that a man doesn’t really look elsewhere for excitement, even if that woman is no longer in his life simply because she was able to fill in those missing pieces as a woman should.

Don’t get me wrong enjoying life is entirely different. A man has the right to want to go boating and have hobbies, but the hobbies shouldn’t be a filler for a void. So when you see a 80 year old man racing cars, going from woman to woman, he is your prime example he never felt accepted, wanted or unconditionally loved.

Tomorrows blog I will go over the emotional scientific proof of what I’m saying.

So note to you men. Be kinstukuroi, wait for gold and don’t fill with clay that will eventually wash away. As much as woman love to say this sentence “I deserve more” So do you!”